That's why you should never keep
a snapping turtle in your back pocket.
That is the last time I ask you what's new.
Hey, Mr. moseby, guess where Zack got bit by a turtle.
I don't have time for your turtle tales.
My grandmother's coming.
Well, that's nice.
No, it's not. She's constantly embarrassing me,
telling me that I have to loosen up.
Me.
Yeah, 'cause you're Mr. loosey-goosey.
Woman: Oh, Marion.
Grandma is here. Ha ha ha!
Ooh, I see you, peanut!
Looks like someone hasn't grown
since my last visit.
I love her. It's just that we are nothing alike.
Hi, grandma.
Mwah! Ha ha!
Ok.
Boys, I want you to meet my grandmother,
rose moseby.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Look at you. Nice to meet you, young fellows.
Sweet as sugar. Ha ha ha!
Uh! Mmm!
Isn't he a strapping young gentleman?
Mm-hmm-mmm. You get your looks from me.
You know that, don't you, little peanut?
Come on. Give your Nana some sugar.
Grandma, please!
Oh, Marion, you need to relax.
It's just lipstick.
Now, you'd be used to it if you had yourself a wife.
Yeah, it's hard to believe
a catch like him is still single.
That is funny! Up top!
And then we get a little uh! Ha ha!
Hey, maybe I haven't married
because it could lead to children.
Marion...Get.
Now, you leave them alone.
All children are sweet and wonderful,
except for him. Ha ha ha!
Oh, but grandma loved you anyway.
Come on. Give me a little more sugar.
Mwah! Mwah! I love kissing
that little bald head.
♪ Here I am in your life ♪
♪ here you are in mine ♪
♪ guess we have a suite life ♪
♪ most of the time ♪
♪ you and me, we got the world to see ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ just me and you know what to do ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ it's you and me, and me and you ♪
♪ we got the whole place to ourselves ♪
♪ you and me, we got it all for free ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ this is the suite life ♪
♪ we've got a suite life ♪
Maddie, I have terrible news.
Daddy's making me get a...
I can't even say it.
Really? Well, it must have more than 3 syllables.
No. This word only has 2 syllables--
a...Job.
You...Have to get a job?
Yes. Daddy says it will give me
a sense of "accomplishment"
and "pride" and teach me
"the value of a dollar."
I'm not even sure what this...Is.
But I'm starting to think it's an obscene gesture.
Well, I'd like to sympathize, but I work 2 jobs--
here and at the cluck bucket.
I'm saving up to buy a used car.
Does it come with a used chauffeur?
You know what? Your dad is right.
It'll be good for you
to live off the money you earn.
But I'll starve! Daddy's so cheap,
he's only giving me a thousand dollars
for every dollar I make!
Oh, you poor thing.
My dad just installed a pay toilet.
Maddie, please. Some of us have real problems.
Mmm!
And so, in conclusion,
the 1940's was a decade filled with fascinating firsts,
from the invention of the bipolar junction transistor
to the--Zack!
True! False! All of the above!
Sorry to wake you, but it's almost time
for you to go to sleep in French class.
Bonsoir.
[Bell rings]
Wait. What about our homework assignment?
Oh, yes. Thank you, Cody.
Each of you must choose
a fascinating first from the 1940's
and write a 3-page paper on it.
And dismissed.
Think of a fascinating first from the 1940's.
Like what?
Dibs on the introduction of daylight savings time!
Just thinking about this assignment
is giving me goosebumps.
Is that what those are?
I thought those were your biceps.
Coming right up.
Thank you so much for promoting me, Mr. fliegel.
Frankly, wearing the hilary hen costume
was kind of embarrassing.
It's so much more dignified to be working back here.
Now, working the counter isn't easy.
Remember, you have to beat the timer.
If a customer gets a free meal,
it comes out of your pay.
Don't worry.
I won't let you down, sir.
Welcome to cluck bucket.
Would you like to try our thigh cruncher?
You sell exercise equipment?
London, what are you doing here?
I was in the neighborhood looking for a job,
but no one's hiring.
You're looking for a job?
Mm-hmm.
You can work here if you'd like.
What?
You're going to hire her without an interview?
You're right.
Can you say, "would you like fries with that?"
Fries? I would never eat something
so greasy and disgusting.
Close enough. You're hired.
Uh!
Yay me!
Hey, guys, I shouldn't be long.
Rose and I are going to the mall.
Yep. I'm ready to shop till I drop!
No, I'm serious.
I have a fainting problem.
If it happens, I have
some smelling salts in my purse.
Let me just find them here.
There's some... Oh, moisturizer.
Don't want to get ashy.
Oh, let's see here.
Uh...Lunch. Mm-hmm.
Boys, while I'm gone,
I want you to do your homework.
How?
No fascinating historical first happened in the 1940's.
Horse feathers!
The 1940's were captivating.
Take it from someone who was there,
like me and your mama here.
Me? Got something to clean
your glasses with in there?
Of course I do. There you go.
Oh, why don't you write about the black sailor, Hugh mulzac?
Oh, ok. Now, in 1920, Hugh mulzac earned
his captain's stripes in the merchant marines.
But all they offered him was command
of a ship with an all-black crew.
Cool.
Not cool. She's talking about segregation.
Correct. Now, Hugh didn't think that was right.
So he turned them down.
22 years later,
the Navy built the "s.S. Booker t. Washington."
You keep an anchor in your purse?
It's my keychain.
Oh.
Oh!
In 1942,
captain Hugh mulzac finally took command
of the military's first integrated crew.
Now, how is that for a fascinating historical first?
Fascinating! Where'd you read it?
Read it? Boy, I lived it.
I was a dancer in the u.S.O.,
performing at the ship's sendoff.
[Music playing]
Ooh! Look. Just like that.
Ah!
Look at that.
Shake it. Shake it. Shake it. Then we go like this.
Ooh. Oh, yeah, girl. Yeah. Whoa!
Don't break nothing, girl! Whoo!
Whoo! You save it till we go clubbing.
Whoo. Yes.
[Music stops]
Oh, I stood on that dock,
and I waved to Hugh and his crew
as the tickertape flew. Ha ha ha!
Whee-hee-hee-hee! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
You know, I'd like a guy who won't be dissed.
I'm definitely writing about Hugh mulzac.
Now, if you have any questions,
please feel free to ask me.
Mm-hmm? I have one.
You got a vacuum cleaner in that purse?
"You got a vacuum cleaner in that..."
Try that on for size.
[Vacuum cleaner whirring]
[Bell dings]
Ok. That means there's a car at the drive-thru.
Use this script to take their order.
Ok.
"Welcome to cluck bucket. May I take your order?
Take finger off talk button."
Oh.
[Static]
Huh?
They said they'd like a cluck-muncher meal.
Push this button. Use the script!
"Will there be anything else?
Suggest whatever is getting cold."
Oh.
[Tires screeching]
Good job, London. They left.
Thank you. Cluck again.
Ok. So the drive-thru is not for everyone.
Let me show you how to make a cluck-muncher.
Okey-dokey, boss.
It's really easy,
but has to be done in the right order.
First you take a toasted sesame bun
and a smidge of honey mustard,
one supple chicken breast,
2 slices of tomato, 3 sour-pickle disks,
a mound of shredded lettuce,
and squirt of pepper herb sauce.
Huh?
It's easy...
If you use this little trick I made up--
the 7 s's.
Sesame, smidge, supple, slices, sour, shredded, squirt.
Use it? I can't even say it.
Just try.
Ok. [Sighs]
Sausage, soup, slettuce--
slettuce?
That's not even a word.
Uh!
Sesame, smidge, supple, slices, sour, shredded, squirt!
Oh, stop saying that!
Ok. Sesame, something, something...Oh!
How about one "s"?
Salad!
Ok, this is the simplest job in the whole place.
Just stand there and cluck.
Do you think you could do that?
Mm-hmm. Quack, quack. Quack, quack.
Forget it. You're hopeless.
I'm sorry. Please.
I need this job.
Without it, I'll be poor
and have to eat at dumps like this.
Fine. Just stand by the door
and keep your beak shut.
Oh. Wow.
Tell me about it.
Welcome to cluck bucket.
Would you like to try our wing-a-ding dinner?
Uh, no. I'd like a half-chicken.
The left half, but take off the skin;
coleslaw, but pick out the carrot bits,
and a root beer, stir out the bubbles.
[Ding] Go!
Hey, maddie, check it out.
I gave hilary hen a makeover.
She's a hot chick now. Get it? Chick.
London, you can't do that!
The employee manual clearly states that--
[alarms ringing]
Yes!
Free! Free!
Free!
This is your fault!
If you're not going to try,
I am not going to help you!
Maddie, that is not
how flock members speak to each other.
If you're not going to be a team player...
Then you're not ready to work the counter.
[Whines]
I can't wait to get my report back.
Oh, man, I've never seen you so excited
about your homework before.
Well, you see, the more I learned about Hugh mulzac,
the more into it I got.
I just hope Mr. dwosh doesn't notice
I cheated the margins a little to get it
all to fit on only 3 pages.
I've never felt closer to you.
[Bell rings]
Good morning, class. I've graded your papers.
Cody, you don't have to take notes on this.
Oh, I know.
"Don't have to take notes on this."
Cody, excellent, as usual.
Zack.
A "d"?
Now let's dive into the 1950's,
the decade of rock-and-roll...
[Cheering]
And radial tires!
[Groaning]
Uh...Mr. Dwosh, I don't understand.
I mean, I thought I did a really good job on this report,
and look, it's not even written
on a cafeteria napkin this time.
Yes, it's refreshingly devoid of pudding stains...
But also devoid of accuracy,
starting with that first sentence.
"The first time an integrated crew
"served under a black captain
was in 1942 when Roosevelt was president."
Except that the Navy wasn't desegregated
until 1948, when Truman was president.
It's in your textbook,
that thing you use as a pillow.
Yeah, but, you see, I'm not talking about the Navy.
I'm talking about the merchant marine,
which during wartime, was under control of the military.
And the book doesn't even mention Hugh mulzac.
Hugh mulzac? Is that like the name
you added to my attendance sheet--Hugh jabutt?
Ha ha. Yeah, man. Right?
Ha ha...No.
Hugh mulzac was real,
and I don't deserve a "d."
Well, perhaps I should invent a new grade for you.
Maybe a "z" for all the times you've snored in my class.
Don't take it personally.
I sleep in all the boring classes.
In that case, why don't I give you a d-plus?
Well, I guess that's a little better.
As in a "d" plus a week of detention.
Bawk.
Welcome to cluck bucket.
Try our egg-citing new cluck-muncher salad.
Bawk.
Hey, hilary...
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Why?
She didn't.
She stayed here while her boss
went out for a shiatsu.
You're getting a massage in the middle of the day?
We're not busy, and London is doing fine.
Here we go.
One whole chicken cluck bucket
and a kiddie cluck truck.
[Honk honk]
[Ding] Maddie, I don't know why you're always complaining
about having to work. It's easy.
Except right after a football game ends.
Hmm?
[Loud voices]
Help...Me...Please!
Sorry.
My wings are tied.
I don't know if this is such a good idea.
I already have a week of detention.
I don't want to go for a month.
Well, Hugh mulzac had 22 years of detention,
working as a cook
when he should have been a captain.
Why?
Because he wasn't afraid
to stand up to the man!
You know what? You're right.
And I'm not afraid either.
Mr. dwosh: No humming in the hallway.
He's coming! Quick, hide me in your purse!
Look! Look! Look!
Come on, child.
Go be brave, son.
[Exhales deeply]
Zack, you're here early for detention.
I know you said my paper was wrong,
but I brought proof-- living, breathing proof.
[Snoring]
Well, she was living and breathing when we got here.
Grandma moseby? Grandma moseby.
Hmm?
Oh! What? What? What? What? Ooh!
Whoa!
Why am I wearing a wooden skirt?
I make it work, though, don't I? Uh, uh.
Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Shake it. Shake it.
Ooh. Ok.
Zack: Rose moseby...
This is my history teacher, Mr. dwosh.
Ooh. Char...
Wait a minute.
You're the nitwit who's never heard of Hugh mulzac.
Ow!
Don't talk back to grandma!
Stop it!
I will stop it when you admit
that you were wrong about Hugh mulzac.
He was real. Trust me. I know.
I was there.
Well, I'd like to take your word for it,
but to be honest, you seem a bit batty.
I'm batty? I'm batty?
You want to know what's batty?
This bat is batty!
I'm coming to get you.
Wow!
This bat is signed by Jackie Robinson!
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He was sweet on me. Mmm. Jackie.
[Chuckling]
See, I like to carry around
a few mementos from my life.
That's it.
Got it. I got it.
I have something the night
the "booker Washington" was launched.
You better not have the ship in there.
Oh, pish posh. Ha ha ha!
Oh, you know what?
I left it in my other purse.
Oh, what a pity. In that case--
here it is.
Ok. There. Oh, look at that.
Hmm? Hmm?
Captain Hugh mulzac.
Wow.
And that's an integrated crew saluting him.
And look at the date--
September 29, 1942.
Ok?
Well, I guess the textbook was wrong.
Well, not just the textbook.
I think you owe somebody an apology.
I'm sorry I called you batty.
Uh! Not me.
This little slice of sponge cake right here.
Zack, I'm sorry I didn't give you a fair shake.
I'm going to regrade your paper.
And?
And you don't have to serve detention.
And?
What? What else?
Well, I don't know. I was just gonna see
what else you offered up.
Don't sass your teacher.
Ow!
Don't laugh at his pain.
And you. Watch it now.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. I could do this all night.
You better watch out.
[Loud voices]
Excuse me. Excuse me!
But I think these fries are a little underdone.
I'll be right with you.
[Horn honking]
I heard you the first time! Here!
[Alarms ringing]
That means my chicken is free!
Yeah! Fine! Take them!
Take them all! Whoa!
Oh, I got them!
Uh! I have chicken fingers!
Please, maddie. Please help me.
If I get fired,
daddy's going to cut me off, remember?
Yeah, I remember. But this time,
I'm not bailing you out,
no matter what you say.
I'll give you the down payment for that used car you wanted.
Hilary hen to the rescue! ♪ bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk ♪
[Loud voices]
Back! Back!
Oh!
Now form a single-file line!
I just want a--
back in line,
or you'll be eating the pepper sauce.
That's what I wanted--more sauce.
Oh...Ok.
[Blows]
Wow! You are really good at this.
London, I have a little something called "experience."
Since I was 7 years old,
I have been working my tail off.
Mommy! Mommy! What's happening to hilary hen?
Maddie, your feathers
must have got into the fryer!
Aah! Aah! Get the fire extinguisher
and put out the tail! Aah!
Oh!
What is happening here?
Hi, Mr. fliegel.
You're not supposed to wear that costume in the kitchen.
It's highly flammable!
Well, that seems like a poor design choice,
don't you think?
That's it! You're fired!
No! No! I'm begging you!
Please! I need this job!
Maddie, have some dignity.
You're fired, too.
No!
My daddy will cut me off!
Please! I'm begging you!
I'm on my knees. I'm on my nose.
These floors are really filthy.
London, don't beg.
We're better than that.
Let's walk out of here with some dignity.
Huh!
Ooh!
[Thud]
Order whatever you want, honey.
It's not every day we get to celebrate an a-plus.
[Ahem]
From Zack.
I just can't believe he did better than me.
Well, I did. See?
Ha ha ha. Yeah.
Oh, you got it framed...Nerd.
Hey, guys, what would you like? It's on the house.
Well, thanks, but won't you
get in trouble with the owner?
Nope. It's fine with me.
London, you own the cluck bucket?
I do now. I bought it with the money I earned here.
$6,000 an hour doesn't seem like much,
but after a while, it starts to add up.
Wow! Can I get a job here?
Sorry. None available. Daddy was going to cut me off,
but by buying the cluck bucket,
I was able to hire myself as manager,
give maddie her job back, and best of all,
check out hilary hen.
Can I please change my name to Ronnie rooster?